Am I running out of time? I jumped on the scales this morning and it is not where I want it to be. I wanted it to be more. I’m counting calories. I’m trying to exercise. I wonder if it’s too late for me. I wonder if all of the years of not eating right […]
I’m a colostomy patient. What is that you might ask? That means that I’m missing a part of my colon or intestinal track. To allow my colon to rest they rearranged my intestines and brought my colon up to the left side of my waist and that’s how I now go to the bathroom – […]
Even though I realize I did this to myself. I’m in this vicious cycle. Morbidly obese. Joints, body, bones, hurt all.the.time. Exhausted. Blood sugar levels suck. Colostomy due to diverticulitis. No motivation/fear/shame of exercise. Even though I realize I did this to myself. My food choices are super limited. No raw fruits or vegetables. They […]
Weight loss is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted to do. There’s nothing pretty about it. There certainly isn’t anything easy about it. And you know what, it’s not even fulfilling. Yes, yes, yes, I get the whole you feel better, look better, and are healthier when your thin. But being thin […]
I get these very cool messages from the universe- and this is the one I got today and damn I really needed it. There will always be people in your life, who hold you back, who cost you too much, and who fail to see all you’ve done for them. But, of course, they’re just […]
….or should I just say fuck it all and accept my fate that I’m going to die fat. I’m not in a great place today. I hate food. I hate everything about it. Oh how I wish I didn’t have to eat. People tell me to pray this away. People tell me to write down […]
As I stepped on the scale this morning naked I could feel the groan of the scale beneath my feet. For the record today January 2nd, 2017 I tipped the scale at 365.6 pounds. By my calculations it’s going to take me approximately 24 months to become height and weight appropriate. f u c k.