I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad today. Tomorrow is Father’s Day – and he’s dead. He died on January 20, 2016. This will be the third Father’s Day without him. He didn’t particularly like Father’s Day – or his birthday – or really anything that focused on commemorating him. He just wasn’t that […]
I climbed upon the scale today for yet another doctor. Sigh. I’m officially down 66.2 pounds. My all time high was 374.6. I’m at 308 pounds. I wish I were at 298 pounds. I know. I didn’t put it in over night.
(This was a place holder originally for June 1st) Several times a day I say to myself- “You can do this. Three pounds a week times 52 week is 156 pounds. It’s doable.” I am then motivated for like seven seconds. Fuck. Break it up in five pound increments. That’s like 33 increments of 5 […]
Am I running out of time? I jumped on the scales this morning and it is not where I want it to be. I wanted it to be more. I’m counting calories. I’m trying to exercise. I wonder if it’s too late for me. I wonder if all of the years of not eating right […]
I’m a colostomy patient. What is that you might ask? That means that I’m missing a part of my colon or intestinal track. To allow my colon to rest they rearranged my intestines and brought my colon up to the left side of my waist and that’s how I now go to the bathroom – […]
Even though I realize I did this to myself. I’m in this vicious cycle. Morbidly obese. Joints, body, bones, hurt all.the.time. Exhausted. Blood sugar levels suck. Colostomy due to diverticulitis. No motivation/fear/shame of exercise. Even though I realize I did this to myself. My food choices are super limited. No raw fruits or vegetables. They […]
Weight loss is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted to do. There’s nothing pretty about it. There certainly isn’t anything easy about it. And you know what, it’s not even fulfilling. Yes, yes, yes, I get the whole you feel better, look better, and are healthier when your thin. But being thin […]