When we remember

I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad today. Tomorrow is Father’s Day – and he’s dead. He died on January 20, 2016. This will be the third Father’s Day without him. He didn’t particularly like Father’s Day – or his birthday – or really anything that focused on commemorating him. He just wasn’t that […]

Struggling – still

(This was a place holder originally for June 1st) Several times a day I say to myself- “You can do this. Three pounds a week times 52 week is 156 pounds. It’s doable.” I am then motivated for like seven seconds. Fuck. Break it up in five pound increments. That’s like 33 increments of 5 […]

Am I running out of time

Am I running out of time? I jumped on the scales this morning and it is not where I want it to be. I wanted it to be more. I’m counting calories. I’m trying to exercise. I wonder if it’s too late for me. I wonder if all of the years of not eating right […]

The no no list…

I’m a colostomy patient. What is that you might ask? That means that I’m missing a part of my colon or intestinal track. To allow my colon to rest they rearranged my intestines and brought my colon up to the left side of my waist and that’s how I now go to the bathroom – […]

Universe cut me a break…

Even though I realize I did this to myself. I’m in this vicious cycle. Morbidly obese. Joints, body, bones, hurt all.the.time. Exhausted. Blood sugar levels suck. Colostomy due to diverticulitis. No motivation/fear/shame of exercise. Even though I realize I did this to myself. My food choices are super limited. No raw fruits or vegetables. They […]