This whole weight loss – getting healthy – aging thing ain’t for sissies. That much I know. Other thing I’ve learned is: Exercise is medicine. I’m not sure why it’s taking me 56 years to get that – but I’m just getting it. It doesn’t mean I love it but I do like the benefits […]
I realized I’m fat because I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to die. I’m scared of exercising because I’m scared of falling, injury, heart attack. If I don’t exercise and lose weight I am going to die. I scared of dying. I. Scared of dieting. I’m just scared. It’s too over whelming to think about […]
Food is going to kill me. Lack of food is going to kill me. Too much food is going to kill me. Why can’t I just have the option to stop eating like the alcoholic or drug addict had the option of abstaining from drugs.
I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend catching up and I watched a morbidly obese older man shuffling towards the door. It was evident that he was in a lot of pain as he made his way to the door. He huffed and he puffed and I worried he was not going to […]
Okay. I am under the 350 pound mark. Just barely. But I will take it. I am insulin-dependent now and they keep telling me that if I continue to lose weight I can discontinue insulin – I’m in suspended judgment. I know what to do: Follow a lower carb lifestyle that consists of lean protein, […]
Goodbye 2018. Hello 2019. And I wish I could take a shit. I’m not going to pretend 2018 was fabulous because it wasn’t. So much stress, strife and anxiety as well as loss. Many people around me died that didn’t have to die. One of my closest friends died- I healthy vegetarian, the kindest woman […]
I weighed. I am at 351.2 pounds. I am so close to 349 pounds I can taste it. This is what 351 pounds looks like. I’m not ready to attach a face to my body. I’m just not ready. Too much shame I think. I began insulin on Sunday. I felt like I failed. But […]
I made a commitment to be at the pool three days a week with a personal pool trainer. I am terrified about getting into the water again with this fucking goddamn bag. And I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad because it’s now a part of me but I can’t control my output, or anything […]
If anybody can give me some helpful hints about breaking the sugar habit I’m all ears.
What’s the old AA saying: “If you don’t want to slip stay out of slippery places.” For me that would mean don’t eat pretty much anything that’s white: Sugar, flour, rice, milk, ice cream, sour cream, egg nog, pasta. And processed foods. And deep fried foods. Then there’s portion control. I feel hungry all the […]