Goodbye 2018. Hello 2019. And I wish I could take a shit. I’m not going to pretend 2018 was fabulous because it wasn’t. So much stress, strife and anxiety as well as loss. Many people around me died that didn’t have to die. One of my closest friends died- I healthy vegetarian, the kindest woman […]
I weighed. I am at 351.2 pounds. I am so close to 349 pounds I can taste it. This is what 351 pounds looks like. I’m not ready to attach a face to my body. I’m just not ready. Too much shame I think. I began insulin on Sunday. I felt like I failed. But […]
I made a commitment to be at the pool three days a week with a personal pool trainer. I am terrified about getting into the water again with this fucking goddamn bag. And I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad because it’s now a part of me but I can’t control my output, or anything […]
If anybody can give me some helpful hints about breaking the sugar habit I’m all ears.
What’s the old AA saying: “If you don’t want to slip stay out of slippery places.” For me that would mean don’t eat pretty much anything that’s white: Sugar, flour, rice, milk, ice cream, sour cream, egg nog, pasta. And processed foods. And deep fried foods. Then there’s portion control. I feel hungry all the […]
I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad today. Tomorrow is Father’s Day – and he’s dead. He died on January 20, 2016. This will be the third Father’s Day without him. He didn’t particularly like Father’s Day – or his birthday – or really anything that focused on commemorating him. He just wasn’t that […]
I climbed upon the scale today for yet another doctor. Sigh. I’m officially down 66.2 pounds. My all time high was 374.6. I’m at 308 pounds. I wish I were at 298 pounds. I know. I didn’t put it in over night.