I realized I’m fat because I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to die. I’m scared of exercising because I’m scared of falling, injury, heart attack. If I don’t exercise and lose weight I am going to die. I scared of dying. I. Scared of dieting. I’m just scared.

It’s too over whelming to think about losing 216 pounds. I need to break it down. All of it’s overwhelming.

I’m lonely.