I made a commitment to be at the pool three days a week with a personal pool trainer. I am terrified about getting into the water again with this fucking goddamn bag. And I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad because it’s now a part of me but I can’t control my output, or anything about my output and I’m terrified about a leak. The medications I take don’t help with keeping my output stable as I never know what the consistency is going to look like or be like.

However, I did it. 68 minutes I did it – walking in the shallow end weaving and dodging through a large Boy Scout troop.

I was just so absolutely exhausted when I got home. But I did it. I fucking did it.